Animated Atrocities 65/Transcript
In all honesty, I don't know what the fuck it is. Mr. Enter (vo): 'I've noticed a few things about this show. It's kind of a fusion of the few movie reviews that I've actually done. Let's start with ''Cars 2; Planet Sheen is a spin-off show by putting the comic relief in the main spotlight. That EVER works. Can you ever think of one time, just ONE time, putting a comic relief in the spotlight for a whole series ever turned out good? Most shows have problems doing it for one episode. This is a problem for quite a few reasons: Number one, just check the name; comic relief, as in RELIEF. They are supposed to provide relief for the main stories and the other characters. Another problem with "comic relief spin-offs" is that it reduces the characters into essentially one trade automatically. The world is good at reacting to them, but them reacting to the world plays into the exact same thing over and over again. (clip of Cars 2) This happens and Mater is an idiot to it. (cut to Planet Sheen) This happens and Sheen is an idiot to it. Also, here is a bit of Tentacolino because Planet Sheen is one of the most bizarrely horrible cartoons that I've ever seen. This episode starts in one of the most annoying ways possible: A monkey (Nesmith) is working on a rocket that I'm assuming they used to get here and Sheen is just watching. 'Sheen: '''And that, my friend, is what's known as a supervisor. '''Mr. Enter (vo): '''Already 10 seconds in and we've hit our first major snag. where Sheen is, I think that he might care about never seeing his friends or family ever again. (''Caption: Show's tone: party time! Reality: Sheen is lost in space and will never see his friends or parents ever again.) I'm also guessing that them being worried about him is never brought up either. Sheen takes a piece of the rocket and believes that it's a milkshake maker. He's going to think it's a milkshake maker throughout the entire episode! '''Sheen: '''You've gotta stop to smell the milkshakes!/ Man, how hard is it to make a milkshake maker?/ If I worked and start with a milkshake.../ And the best thing for a rash is a milkshake! '''Mr. Enter (vo): '''Alright, if you're going to write a stupid character, you need to give some logic to their stupidity. If that whirligig looks something like you can make a milkshake, then that would complete the joke. You can't make idiots just to see whatever the plot wants them to. '''Sheen: '''Like my Miguel always said, "You've gotta stop to smell the milkshakes"! '''Mr. Enter (vo): '''You know, when you're making a spin-off show, you should try to keep the original show style as much as possible. I'd forgive them mixing things up if these five-second cutaways were funny, but they're not. '''Sheen: '''Or does it? '''Nesmith: '''No. '''Sheen: '''Or DOES it!? '''Nesmith: '''No... '''Sheen: '''Or '''DOOOOOOOES IIIT!? Mr. Enter (vo): SHUT UP! 'For the love of God, just SHUT UP! The sad part is that, unlike Mater, I actually like Sheen in the original show. But that's because number one, he was a fucking character and not a joke and number two, he wasn't always in the focus and number three, he actually had some depth. Putting a comic relief character in the focus can get very grating very fast. The Emperor comes by, along with someone called Dorkus. From what people have told because I couldn't find the pilot anywhere, Dorkus hates Sheen because the rocket crashed into his house. Beyond the fact that he's voiced by a Tim Curry soundalike... '''Dorkus: '(to Nesmith) ...things like that. For example, just the other day, I was thinking about (clenching his teeth) watering my garden mats! 'Mr. Enter (vo): '''His only notable trait is that he's this show's Megward the Wizard. Considering that he's a villain, he has more of a point than most Megward the Wizards, but he's still a Megward the Wizard nonetheless. Anyway, the Emperor says that Boh-Rok the Destroyer destroys everything. '''The Emperor: '''You have no idea. He once fed an entire village. '''Sheen: '''Well, that sounds nice! '''The Emperor: '''To his mother. '''Mr. Enter (vo): '''He's not scary in the slightest, is he? So, Sheen needs to learn how to properly feel Boh-Rok and the Emperor gives the job to Dorkus because of he does. Is there anything in this episode that isn't cliched as all hell!? (''Caption: Yes. Yes, there is.) Oh God, why do I feel like I'm gonna regret that question? 'Dorkus: '(overlapped with Rasputin's voice from ''Anastasia) Now my dark purpose will be fulfilled and the last of the Romanovs will DIE! (''singing) In the dark of the night, I was tossing and turning/and the nightmare I had was as bad as can be! 'Mr.Enter (vo): '''So, Dorkus decides to find someone to teach Sheen so badly, that Boh-Rok will get extremely mad. (''clip of Too Many Robots) Look, just because you're in a unique environment doesn't give you license to be cliched. We've already established this one. 'Pinter: '''Just so you know, you look like an Oblah Award. (''cut to a cutaway gag) '''Alien: Thank you so much for this award! I have such a long list of people I want to-(screams as she falls through a trapdoor) Mr. Enter (vo): 'I-I really would like to know. Who came out and said, "I really like ''Jimmy Neutron, but you know what it really needs? More Family Guy cutaway gags!" A spin-off show is supposed to FIX the flaws of the original or change the formula a bit, like, making the Rugrats teenagers. There's a lot you could do with the kids grown-up. What you're NOT supposed to do is add random, extraneous crap! Then, Boh-Rok *Dorkus finds Carl Weezer's not snot clone. Yes, guess what! It seems that the showrunners here decided that Sheen wasn't enough to carry a show on his own. Two episodes in! At least, that's what I hope the introduction of this character because he is exactly Carl Weezer and they're blatant about it. It can either mean that they think that Sheen wasn't enough to carry the show, OR it could tell me that someone wants to make Jimmy Neutron without Jimmy Neutron, which is stupid. It's like making Ed, Edd n Eddy without the Eds! Jimmy Neutron isn't the most show, but the characters of Jimmy mesh perfectly with the show. This show gives us some bullcrap to hammer in the fact that this is indeed Carl Weezer. Moving on. Carl Weezer's got the job to teach Sheen how to properly feel Boh-Rok the Destroyer, who I'm still isn't going to be frightening in the slightest. We cut to Sheen! His rocket part causes him to fly around for no reason. And then he meets Carl. 'Doppy: '''My name is Doppy. That is spelled D-O-P-P-tralalalalalalalalalala-Y. '''Mr. Enter (vo): '''Yeah, I'm still gonna call him Carl. '''Sheen: '''Hey, wait a minute. Don't I know you from somewhere? (''cut to a flashback of Sheen and Carl spinning around holding their hands, as if they were in love) 'Mr. Enter (vo): ''Kay, Sheen had the hots for Carl! Moving on. Sheen makes himself an ass by pretty much being Patrick Star from Oral Report. Dorkus comes out, Carl failed to teach Sheen and then we cut to Sheen counting down how long he's been waiting for Boh-Rok. We get some ambiance crap and then we learn that Boh-Rok the Destroyer is a flying... pink... pony with a... rainbow mane... Oh, God... The only question here is what jokes do I use? 'Boh-Rok (scary voice): '''Who are you, flat-headed, triangular one?! '''Mr. Enter (vo): '''Look, you want to make ponies scary? (''clip of Over Two Rainbows) Just watch what I'm gonna be doing next time. Oh yeah, we're going there. Then the pony shoots rotten nasal fumes at Sheen! Then we get another stupid cutaway gag. When Sheen insults Pinkie Pie here, he shoots out some nose hairs and sucks... Sheen into his nose. Give 'em that, i-it's not a cliche anymore, but d-do you guys realize wh-what just happened? Sheen crash-landed on an alien planet with a civilization who is afraid of a giant... pink... pony with a rainbow mane, who SUCKS people up with his nose hairs. (groans) What drugs were they on to make this? All the drugs! All the fucking drugs! Dorkus also gets sucked up into the pony's nose because he did his pose and it looked like the award thing. 'Sheen: '''It's a lot roomier in here than it looks from the outside; some would even argue that it's impossible. '''Mr. Enter (vo): '''Pointing out your problems does not make them go away! Come on, you established that the FUCKING pony was some kind of a demon! You can come up with a better excuse than pointing out why this couldn't happen! '''Old Alien: '''I came here as a baby. (''jumpcut) I have a rash... '''Mr. Enter (vo): (sarcastically) Yay, toilet humor... Something that the original show thoroughly lacked! Sheen starts using the rocket part and that miraculously cuts him free. (sarcastically again) Yay for anticlimaxes! This gets Boh-Rok to sneeze everything out. Boh-Rok: (happily) Thank you, Sheen! (laughs goofily) You know what? Now that my nose isn't stuffed up, I wanna do good things! (laughs again) ''In fact, I'm gonna go build a library and fill it with books that only have happy endings. (''clip of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic) Pinkie Pie: '''And that's how Equestria was made. '''Mr. Enter (vo): (cut to Planet Sheen) Seriously though, WHAT THE FUCK!? Like, WHAT THE HOLY HELL!? Before the episode ends, Megward the Wizard gets sucked up the pony's nose and we end on a fucking poop joke! Yeah, I said, this show's like Tentacolino where you'd want to keep watching just to figure out what bizarre shit the screen will throw up at you next. But really, like, one of the worst ways you can get someone to keep watching your show. I mean, you're gonna run out of the drugs and you have to get some really, really crazy shit to make this stuff up. The funny thing is that I actually heard that the show was going to be serious, the lines of Avatar, as a matter of fact. I'd say that that would be a much better idea, but I've seen Mars Needs Moms and I kinda prefer this. Trivia- Category:Animated Atrocities Category:Season 3 Category:Transcripts